


Never Let You Down Again

by DestinyFreeReally



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alcohol Mentions, F/M, Mentions of Buffys Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 14:23:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8449663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestinyFreeReally/pseuds/DestinyFreeReally
Summary: In the summer of Buffy's death. Spike does some drin- thinking.





	

     Second chances were for white hats and for saints. She deserved one, he knew, but he wasn’t naive. He wasn’t drunk on false hope. Just the Jack and the whiskey  and the Scotch and the pain. But no false hope.   
  
     She’d given him more second chances than he could count on both hands. More threats, too. He knew Buffy understood reality, she fought it with her own two fists. Yet she believed in good and justice, triumphed for Christmas and stuck a righteous feather in her white cap doing it. So where was she? To give him his second chance, dammit. To let him scale that tower again, be faster, be cleverer, be _better,_ save the Bit and do it proper.  Where was she to hear how sorry he was? Finally. Too many years he’d been walking around, and _now_ he felt sorry. Yeah, he did. Lot of help it was, _sorry_. His apologies stung the back of his throat and choked themselves silent at her stone.  
  
     He'd never been convinced people meant their apologies- because actions couldn't be undone, things couldn't be unsaid. Atonement was dandy, just dandy, but you can't unbreak a mirror once it's cracked. You can't undo death. He couldn't undo death.   
  
     “I’ll never let you down, again.” He promised rock and earth and air. He promised dust. “Never again.” He just wanted even _one_ chance to prove it. 


End file.
